GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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