Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
