how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
