3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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