If i come over, it means nothing
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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