According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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