oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
