He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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