Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
