Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
