Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
