It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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