i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize