I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
