i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
someone threw a dead crab at me
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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