So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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