physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
