Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
