okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize