shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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