I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
