He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
