Define "chronic" masturbator.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
