Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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