Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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