True but thats because hes a fetus.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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