There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You took a bar mat shot.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
