Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
