I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
