i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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