Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
