Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
