as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
