We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
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