The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
