Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There's always time for handjobs
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
