i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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