Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
jump out the window naked night went bad
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
