just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
