it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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