I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
