Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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