The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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