Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
