why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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