Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
