Pappa wants mamma naked
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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