This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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