I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
