im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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