yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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