I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I have aggressive nipples.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
