why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
