are you still at the devil's house?
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
