New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
