Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
