We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
