I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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