I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize